This dress is probably my favorite item in my closet right now. Hands down.
There was a time when I was super into maxi dresses, and there was also a time when I got tired of them and moved onto the new trend. But this dress is one of those that I just put on and instantly feel like I’m ten times fancier (and richer) than I actually am.
(You can probably tell by now that I had way too much fun swinging my dress around for these photos).
My shoes – which are way more comfortable than they look, I promise – thankfully prevented my from tripping over my dress every 10 seconds, and only heightened my goddess-like feeling. Overall, this dress just makes me feel beautiful. I love being able to feel confident and on-top-of-the-world when I go out. It’s part of why I love fashion. Being the introverted, anxiety-ridden person that I am, a good outfit means a more self-assured version of myself when I walk out of the door. That feeling of being put together and satisfied with the way that I look gives me more courageousness in the morning than a mirror pep talk. It’s what officially gets my day started and I love it.
I live for the feeling of walking down the city streets with confidence, fast-paced and ready to seize the day.
What I don’t live for are the random men who feel that it’s necessary to comment on it.
It’s not usually terrible. Sometimes it’s just a guy telling me that he thinks I’m beautiful or calling out “Hey gorgeous,” to which I can simply say thank you or keep walking and going about my business. But other times, they’re more direct. Asking me if I want to go out, or give them my phone number, or “spend time with them.” I am fortunate. I have been able to say “No thank you” and “I’m not really comfortable with that, sorry” and they’ve left me alone without a word. That doesn’t always happen. I am thankful that no one has ever gone further to try to talk to me or pressure me into talking to them. But the future still lies ahead, and I can never guess who I’ll come across in the future.
Moreover, I was with a friend when I was out in Chicago. If I was alone, no doubt my anxiety would have spiked. It definitely did when men in Scotland tried talking to me when I was taking the bus home. It always will when something like that happens.
However, the point I want to make is not that my dress is what made men decide to catcall or attempt to flirt with me, or that catcalling in general is just rude or annoying. It’s that I hate that young women have to continuously be on-edge, hyper-aware of their surroundings wherever they go. That while I’m looking up graduate programs and possible places to live in the future, I’m also looking up the safety statistics and crime rate towards women, especially women of color, in those areas. The point lies in the fact that whenever I get in a Lyft or an Uber, I’m instantly suspicious and feel the urge to keep my door unlocked. In today’s day and age, young women have become so accustomed to being wary and cautious of their environment and their safety that it’s just the normal thing to do. Men typically don’t face the same discomfort when walking down the street, and probably don’t look behind their shoulder every couple of minutes to make sure no one is watching or following them.
I find it to be so twisted that we’re almost expected to be suspicious when we go out alone. Or that we’re supposed to “dress like a proper woman” as if that’s going to prevent anyone from trying anything on us. I hate that I can’t go out in my flowy dress and feel confident and beautiful without experiencing moments of discomfort by random men on the street. I hate that despite loving the city at night, my mind instantly goes into a mode of constant suspicion once the darkness begins to fall, where the night is my enemy.
I’m going to keep wearing my flowy dress and keep going out feeling confident and beautiful, as if I could rule the world. I’m also going to keep being on edge whenever I see someone’s eyes linger on me a bit too long, or if someone seems to be approaching me. That’s just how the world is today. I simply wanted to write this because I wanted to share the way I feel when I go about my day, and see if my words can connect with anyone else. I wish we could live in a society where women don’t have to worry so much about where they want to live or what time they have to be home by for safety alone, but I know that day isn’t likely to come. At the very least, I’d like women to stick together when it comes to things like this, not blaming victims and acknowledging the dangers of simply being a women in 2019.
If you connected with this post in any way, or if it made you think in a different light, please feel free to comment or reply.
Enjoy the rest of your day! I’ll see you next time.
Emma ^_^
The Couture Chemist 